I got to make some adjustments. K.B. Elise, Wyett, P-you there? We had to manage. And then, you know, here enter like magic, I do believe in magic in that I think it can be I do think it can be better than we even anticipate. : Yeah, I know, I know. : Exactly. : You’re right. And now I get it. Each of the patients Harper writes about taught her something important about recuperation and recovery. The Beauty in Breaking. See retailer for details. Like we need more women and people of color and different backgrounds, different socioeconomic statuses and disabilities, because the patients we see need that. : Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In this exquisitely-written, incredibly humane, and inspiring memoir, she tells the story of how she found healing for her own wounds by becoming a healer of others. She says it’s human nature to want to bind ourselves to the parts of life we hold dear, whether those parts are actual people, events, items or dreams. Michele Harper is a female, African American emergency room... Free shipping over $10. Like people’s regular anxiety and sexual harassment complaints just like, the stakes of everything become an emergency, which means you’re just there like seeing all of, all of life. Michele Harper: Thank you. But this type of binding frays and tears, until even when we fight the awareness, we’re forced to see how illusory the reliance on permanence is. They conveniently messed up her paperwork so she couldn’t go and pay her respects to the only support she had in this world. The Beauty in Breaking is her first book. M.H. They need to feel seen and heard and understood. So it makes me wonder, other than a complete badass, like what kind of person do you think it takes to be an E.R. Like, there’s such a vast and important body of literature about how African-Americans and other people of color will receive unequal treatment as both patients and also medical providers. : I appreciate that. M.H. Look, the world loves us when we are good, better, best. Radically honest if I’m in the face of death or pain or suffering or the end of relationships, being present is what keeps me grounded and rooted in the moment. I like totally obsessed with this topic because I think we both don’t believe that things are always better, but that things can still really be beautiful. Thank you. I feel like the deal of being human is that there will be challenges, there will be struggle. And I I learned at that time that anything was possible. As I got older, as my brother got older, he was often our protector, thank God. A little bit of gratitude for this gorgeous, fragile life. Where you’re like, oh, we can tell the truth about this. In “The Beauty in Breaking,” Dr. Michele Harper shares stories from the field, and how healing patients who’ve trusted her with their lives taught her to care for herself. And I said, no, I don’t think you’re crazy. Believe with your whole heart and God will provide. We’re not always celebrating a zen like mindset. Hi, I’m Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. What is it? Like, I have faith and I have goals for myself and I feel like I can do this. Dr. Michele Harper Shares More Than A Decade Of ER Experience In New Memoir Jul 04, 2020 at 4:58 am By. : Yeah, that’s right. And this does come up a lot. Is it something we can get through and blow over or is really nothing very dangerous going on right now and I just have to be vigilant? And then now when I look back on my childhood growing up in an abusive household where my father was a batterer. And so, you know, I don’t romanticize trauma, but I do think that our experiences can take us to a deeper, more meaningful way of being. It’s a different kind of spiritual, mental, emotional urgency. And one thing I always try to be a little positive. There’s a lot of, I don’t know in my experience, sometimes missing the life I could have had is really… while still wanting to be like to be the person that gives the gift like that is hard work. “ The Beauty in Breaking is a compelling page-turner about how Dr. Michele Harper took a broken childhood and wove herself into a strong, honest, compassionate doctor. So these are some of the impacts. In 2017, The Huffington Post wrote this amazing article about why we need more women of color working in medicine. K.B. And a lot of it just needless, because this should have been handled appropriately with so much pain and suffering from the pandemic one, what I hope will be a positive outcome is that it has laid bare these disparities. Instagram gold. Emergency Rooms are the theater of life itself. K.B. Thanks to friends who know us better than we know ourselves sometimes. So those were skills that I developed early. : Well, that’s one of the things that I feel that this pandemic has laid bare. And now with the pandemic, the few people she could speak to, she can’t even, she has increased isolation, so of course, I did my screening and of course, you know, I made sure that she had a safe place to live and go. Michele Harper has worked for more than a decade in emergency rooms in the South Bronx and Philadelphia and shares some of her experiences in a new book, "The Beauty In Breaking." So I spoke to her and she told me that she was feeling depressed. The Beauty in Breaking. Required fields are marked *. K.B. Dr. Michele Harper is a New Jersey-based emergency room physician whose memoir, The Beauty in Breaking, is available now. How to let go of fear even when the future is murky. She also discusses the institutional racism within the medical community, and the ways in which poverty and oppression are medical issue within themselves. I mean, so many of our essential workers, people, people who are always essential, people who are teachers, people who work in sanitation, our grocery store clerks, but people who also haven’t traditionally been valued in society. It’s not functional, it leads to burnout and so much deep suffering and even kind of a dissociation in order to get through it. And I said, and it’s wrong. Your email address will not be published. Eat this and you won’t get sick. But but also existentially being yourself. And you know, that being said about access to care, I mean truthfully it’s that’s one of those things I’m increasingly vocal about and I hope I become super famous so I can use this platform because we got to make some changes. So, you know, I think if someone doesn’t want to be with me for whatever reason. I never even thought of you’re an emergency room doctor trying to decide what’s an emergency when right now everything is an emergency. And she said, I just wanted someone to talk to. A New York Times Bestseller. Dr. Michele Harper, author of the acclaimed – and timely – new memoir, The Beauty in Breaking, joins us for a powerful conversation about race and equity. Harper, an emergency room physician who grew up in a complicated family, explores how a life of service to others taught her how to heal herself. I guess I could tell the truth about a lot of things. doctor, because all we have is a snapshot in time, I have a moment to look at a situation. I’m glad I’m in the E.R. And I know it is a huge topic, but we both know it’s so especially crucial right now when a pandemic means that some people are disproportionately effected. But there’s like there’s such a sense of grounding people get in your account, like your feet are right under you and it allows you to give incredible gifts. And I want to ask you all about your story in a minute. And that divorce happened right as I was moving to a new city for new job, for this new phase in my life that was supposed to be fantastic. K.B. I don’t feel that the reward at the end of a struggle is that now we have the life of our dreams that we might see in a Disney film. Michele Harper is a graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. She is a graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. Of course she’s depressed. © 2021 River Net Creative Industries | A Division of River Net Computers, Deschutes Public Library Foundation – Author! M.H. I had to get home because I was running over. : What’s beautiful about being broken is the possibility of rebuilding better and stronger and more resilient, in a deeper way. I needed to know I was going into a profession where I could see anyone where I wouldn’t and couldn’t, like I love the fact that it’s mandated, I can’t turn someone away just because they can’t pay like I needed in our system, it’s at least a spiritual privilege, because for me this is a calling. But it didn’t happen. We can find beauty and meaning and truth, but there’s no cure to being human. How to let go of fear even when the future is murky. I mean, OK, so. Still the night but we need the light and I have an idea for how we can spend this together. OFFICIAL WEBSITE. Our family welcomes Dr. Michele Harper (THE BEAUTY IN BREAKING) doctors, healing, words. Instagram gold. Yeah, this makes sense, I’m totally tracking. Stream The Beauty in Breaking by Michele Harper, read by Nicole Lewis by PRH Audio from desktop or your mobile device : (Laughter) Totally, no, I didn’t want to sleep. Read more about Tara Brach’s idea of radical acceptance and radical honesty, here. M.H. Lose this weight and you’ll never be lonely. : It’s more precious. That was four years ago and I’m still here. And it’s OK that life isn’t always better. The Beauty in Breaking: A Memoir Michele Harper. It is not trite to say that what we have is right here and right now and when our lives have shrunk to the rooms we’re in, may we find the treasure of gratitude here in the now. Yes, we are shattered, but yes, we will be made into something new. How do you feel like justice is being meted out at that at that level? So let’s be friends on that journey. : And I hope I still hope. We need gentle ways right now to find hope and beauty and love. : No, I like it. The self-help and wellness industry will try to tell you that you can always fix your life. And so that’s something I had to work on as I got older and when I saw that another life was possible, you know, and I remember when I went to the emergency department, when I was still a young teenager and seeing all manner of life converge there, seeing people come in hurt, battered, just looking for shelter, like a homeless man who just needed respite from the elements or a little girl who needed her booboos stitched up, someone coming in and coding and EMS working on it and pumping on his chest, all kinds of people met there looking for some kind of healing. She was chief resident at … Let’s be human together. We are living through a season of intense and prolonged uncertainty and fear and unknowing. K.B. K.B. : Tara Brach talks about radical acceptance and I feel so strongly about radical honesty. M.H. That was four years ago and I’m still here. Order THE BEAUTY IN BREAKING. A Memoir by Michele Harper. Huge thank you to my team. And now I get it. And we were close, I mean, to this day, I think he’s a good guy, but clearly it wasn’t meant to be. I believe everything you’re saying. You can find The Beauty in Breaking, here. I wasn’t joking when I write about doing yoga, I do a lot all the time. K.B. M.H. And I was like, well, do you think you you’re going to be OK? And I think back there’s a moment that one story it could be could be any story, but one where my brother was trying to protect my mother. But I’m here to look into your gorgeous eyes and say, hey, there are some things you can fix and some things you can’t. They just needed a quick medical blessing so they can go on. The Beauty in Breaking is the poignant true story of Harper’s journey toward self-healing. So much pain and suffering. I, will never forget an interaction I had with a young woman who I saw I met in the psychiatric part of the emergency department when I was working at the VA hospital, and it’s not uncommon for veterans to come in at this hospital seeking medical clearance, just a doctor saying they’re medically OK to go on to their sober house or then the next part of their job. After hearing the author interviewed last week on NPR, I ordered "The Beauty in Breaking" with curiosity, but I've been rewarded with hope, and with comfort in CovidTIme. It’s the season of almost. Watch "An Evening with Dr. Michele Harper": Tues., Nov. 10th @ 7 PM EST. And so she also was depressed. M.H. So now you have this piece where the cracks are highlighted by gold or platinum, because the thinking is we’re not going to pretend this this art hasn’t been through something, hasn’t been broken, hasn’t been destroyed. But just something was pulling at my heart and soul and gut. The canary. It is. Ok, so it’s the season of Advent. She doesn’t want to hurt herself or anyone else, but she is a is a front line worker working as a clerk in a grocery store. And just to offer that trust, that’s a powerful thing. : Man, and the way you’re describing it, I know I mean, I am not in medical world, but I know they call it like the surgical theater. Let’s be human together. Believe with your whole heart and God will provide. Keep this attitude and the money is yours. That’s not my take on life. Trevor covers international COVID-19 news, Dr. Michele Harper discusses her memoir "The Beauty in Breaking," and Patton Oswalt talks about "I'll Be Gone in the Dark." That little girl skipped out with her father, that family, the family with the man coding, we don’t know if he made it or not, but somehow in that space, they were going to have to find a way through it to find their life forward with or without that family member. So let’s be friends on that journey. In her first book, “The Beauty of Breaking,” Harper details what she’s learned about life, death and self-healing as a Black emergency room physician in … Almost Christmas, almost a vaccine. Buy this book. It’s the season of almost. Dr. Michele Harper discusses her memoir "The Beauty in Breaking" and the extreme stress that health care workers are experiencing due to the COVID-19 crisis. I ran downstairs to open the front door. And I remember she said that it felt good to speak because she had never told the whole story to anyone like that. M.H. Would you mind, like, starting at the beginning and telling me a little bit about your childhood and how maybe you were forced to learn that kind of grounding at such a young age? And I discharged her, but like this is what’s going on. Should be there to not only bear witness, but to amplify the story and be part of accountability because we, I feel I have to change the system so this doesn’t happen to other people. When I am at the next barbecue and I’m trying to convince other people what is beautiful about being broken? I do. I said, and I don’t often talk about myself, but I just I felt like she needed to hear it. That’s the part that will that will give some sense of joy, because everything else in this material world, it comes and it goes like just in the E.R. Written by: Michele Harper. And so she looked like a little girl. Dr. Harper is one of the mere 2% of Black women doctors working in America — and she’s on the front lines, as an Emergency Room doctor. M.H. And so it’s rebuilt then with an amalgam of precious metals. where, you know, thankfully, she had been reassigned. : I love that you’re describing like a sub category of that profession, which creates justice as part of its, like it has to be part of that process. You can find The Beauty in Breaking, here. That not real. The Beauty in Breaking; Written By: Michele Harper. M.H. And so not only had they committed this crime against her body and her spirit and then emotionally tortured her on top of all that, but then they had tried to take away her livelihood by ruining her record so she wouldn’t have a way to support herself or a career at all. Like that is part of, that’s the ER job. And I also knew that there was more to life that was possible. : (Laughter) Hey now, she was a fetus. On the topic of fundamental justice, it does seem, bananas. Or people with, record unemployment. She recounts the fears of her childhood and how those same feelings of brokenness and abandonment returned when her husband left her, and how she copes as a Black female doctor. I felt like if I didn’t, I would be complicit. And um what I grieve the most and what I knew, like I knew he could go. Michele, hello. I feel also there has to be a certain I mean, I have to tell you, part of the reason I love doing it is in this country where we don’t have access, equal access to health care. Author! Well, I listen to her, I felt it was important to listen to her and I said to her what they did to you was wrong, it was just wrong. Dr. Michele Harper is an emergency room physician and the author of The Beauty in Breaking, a memoir of service, transformation, and self-healing. Do they need to be admitted to hospital or not? But sometimes we meet people who know how to keep their feet under them. The Beauty in Breaking is Dr. Harper’s story of breaks and fixes, of healing emotionally and physically. When I see patients, I can’t promise a family necessarily that their loved one with end stage heart disease is going to make it. : Yeah. Sure, we’re not supposed to have evictions, but real facts on the ground are that we are being evicted and I can’t get into a shelter because of the pandemic. : I really like the kind of existential bravery you’re talking about. : No, no don’t be the Canary, be my thermometer. Each one leads the author to a deeper understanding of herself and the reader to a … Then I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. They aren’t lucky. That part of it is wearing thin, though. And I remember feeling the horror and the terror and knowing that if this person in my home could do this to someone that I loved, cared for, my protector could do this savage, brutal act to him that anything could happen and we weren’t safe and that somehow I had to manage. Lose this weight and you’ll never be lonely. And now look at it, for the cracks. She’s like, I think I can make it. But truthfully, there’s so little I can actually do for her. The Beauty in Breaking is the poignant true story of Harper’s journey toward self-healing. Discussion Questions for the conversation between Michele and Kate can be found, here. The author, an ER doctor of obvious skill, dedication, and passion, is, as she says "a healer." Read more about Tara Brach’s idea of radical acceptance and radical honesty, here. The self-help and wellness industry will try to tell you that you can always fix your life. And she had a new therapist who was helping her so that she could maintain sobriety and help with her depression, anxiety, PTSD. K.B. And so often they are women and people of color. M.H. She crawled in straight from her cradle. And still, even after all she has seen and all she has walked through, Michele finds great hope in being broken. And I don’t mean that a financial sense. And, you know I, in the ER we have to decide if someone’s suicidal or not. And I think in that act of of presencing, that’s what gives me grounding. Kate Bowler: People always say, find your center, find your center as if you were a seesaw and you didn’t know you were supposed to balance, but right now there is no balance. Your email address will not be published. There is no normal, there is no pretending that life is staying on course. It’s a treasure. And, you know, he told me he was into documentary film. Michele Harper is a female, African American emergency room physician in a profession that is overwhelmingly male and white. If we’re lucky, the bond holds in the moment and the experience of it shines and breathes and expands. K.B. It was about the reality of her day-to-day life as an ER doc during the early days of the pandemic. I don’t feel that life is perfect. I first heard about my guest today, Michele Harper, when stumbled upon an essay she published earlier this year, entitled When This War is Over, May of Us Will Leave Medicine. Yes. : Thanks for saving people’s lives every day. I used to have my own delusion of living my best life now. So, join me on instagram and facebook to find out more. I was pretty much staying late to help the other doctor who was overburdened and she was fine, so I could have been in and out of there in five minutes. Then you have to be a little there’s a certain amount of masochism that goes along with the scheduling. How to tell the truth when it's simpler to overlook it. K.B. I really do. Look, the world loves us when we are good, better, best. But she can’t afford to leave that job because she has to pay bills and she doesn’t have any family who can help her and she doesn’t have any support and she doesn’t have any friends. An emergency room physician explores how a life of service to others taught her how to heal herself. Thank you, Michele. And she was overseas when it happened. I offered her a meal, you know, like even if just for she could have one more meal in that moment or there was a young black woman who she was like 20 but not, you know, now at my age, 20 year olds look like 12 year olds. But this is a podcast for when you want to stop feeling guilty that you’re not living your best life now. And given the nature of the professions are not the highest wage earners either. And that’s honestly why I mean, I’m glad I’m there. Try Watch the full episode online. It really does feel intensely validating to be able to have someone in an official capacity be able to say like this is injustice. M.H. And I mean, even if, like the patient I just spoke about, what could I do? : And I love it also and it will probably, I just like as a Canadian, I just can’t understand this part of it, I can’t. I just, when I saw her walk in, I was like, this is this is not, she doesn’t, this is not where she’s going to end up in the psychiatric floor. Meanwhile, her grandmother died. So that they can go on. But like the way you’re describing it, it sounds like these spaces can sort of just be like the theater of life itself, like everything. I mean, that homeless man had maybe an hour or two to rest. We’re not always celebrating a zen like mindset. She’s a graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University, and she just released her first memoir, The Beauty in Breaking. They haven’t been spared pain and heartache, but they have figured out something about pain that still lets them grow. And underemployment, the fact that people don’t have health insurance during a pandemic, blows my mind like I the people, you know, so many patients I see now, I’m seeing people coming in because they’re having panic attacks, because they’re depressed, because like this middle aged woman said, well, I lost my job, I can’t find a job, I was kicked out of my housing because I can’t pay my bills. : I think there is a certain amount of comfort you have to have with uncertainty because anything and anyone can come in any time. And I remember I was a young teenager and I remember looking at his hand and it looked like he had been bit by an animal. Then I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I didn’t have anything to base it on. Thanks to the simple moments of delight, a long stretch, that delicious sip of wine, my son’s evil, evil laugh. Author and Doctor Michele Harper Is Here to Help Us Heal In her first book, “The Beauty in Breaking,” Dr. Harper tells a tale of empathy, overcoming prejudice, and learning to heal herself by healing others. An excerpt from “The Beauty in Breaking,” by Michele Harper. CW: domestic violence, a doctor discusses a patient’s experience of sexual assault and a patient’s suicidal ideation, racial discrimination. Like everybody deserves health care, everybody deserves a living wage. : Exactly cut it and move on, but I knew I was going to I knew I was going to be terribly sad and terribly depressed. And for me, the reward is to find inner peace. Photo courtesy of Penguin Random House. Account & Lists Account Returns & Orders. I’m a Duke professor, wine and cheese enthusiast, wife and mom. Tags: Michele Harper interviews The Daily Show interview The Daily Social Distancing Show coronavirus health epidemics books Doctors New Jersey the South health care work/office Poverty Mental Health Prison And given that, you know, in the hierarchy of specialties, there are many specialties that pay more, I think that there has to be a certain amount of generosity of spirit to want to be in that setting and then cognitive flexibility. Life is a chronic condition. Michele’s first book, her memoir entitled The Beauty in Breaking, was published earlier this year. Life is a chronic condition. And she asked me, she’s like, do you think I’m crazy? K.B. M.H. This life that will demand everything from you, but right now, let’s just take a moment to say, thanks. doctor? Read By: Nicole Lewis. The Beauty in Breaking is the poignant true story of Harper’s journey toward self-healing. And in fact, they’re a supermodel. She had mentioned she was recovering from a trauma, we glossed over it though, but as I was leaving, I just felt that I needed to ask her. And so she’s depressed. Thanks to our bodies that give us a place to call home. K.B. An emergency room physician explores how a life of service to others taught her how to heal herself. I want to know that the system will allow me to take care of anyone and to the best of my ability. And we continue to speak. What we have in all its glory to hug and hold, to caress and learn, to feel and grow is simply right here and right now. But I’m here to look into your gorgeous eyes and say, hey, there are some things you can fix and some things you can’t. The New York Time‘s 100 Notable Books of 2020. Like I want to be part of getting rid of these disparities. K.B. Jessica Richie, Keith Weston, Harriet Putman and J.J. Dickinson. You can connect with Michele on her Instagram, on her Facebook, or on her website. It’s a pleasure and an honor to join you and and your community here today. Scroll. Michele Harper has worked as an emergency room physician for more than a decade at various institutions, including as chief resident at Lincoln Hospital in the South Bronx and in the emergency department at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Philadelphia. And she just looked at me and I said, is there something else we can do for you today? : I do. Is my reading of that. A Memoir. An African American emergency room physician reflects on how “the chaos of emergency medicine” helped her come to terms with a painful past and understand the true nature of healing. I think I can do this. No, it has been. When our lives get small, may we grow deep. M.H. Dr. Michele Harper has worked as an emergency room physician for more than a decade at various institutions, including as chief resident at Lincoln Hospital in the South Bronx and in the emergency department at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Philadelphia. : Exactly. : I think about this all the time. How to understand that compassion isn't the same as justice. You know, I talk about this, my analogy is and I’m sorry I’m going to mispronounce this, but the Japanese art of kintsukuroi where pottery has it’s broken. And if you’re able to if you’re able to find a way through this, I was like, you know, me, you people like us, we have to find a positive way through it. Dr. Michele Harper is the author of the New York Times best-selling memoir The Beauty in Breaking, about her experiences as a female, African American emergency room physician and … : It is. We’re not going to do management of chronic anxiety and depression. Literary Series, The School of Life Amsterdam – VIRTUAL APPEARANCE, Training 2021 Conference and Expo – VIRTUAL APPEARANCE. The Beauty in Breaking is the poignant true story of Harper's journey toward self-healing. And so when I saw, getting a glimpse that there are these spaces of potential and hope, I knew that I wanted to be that for other people, that I wanted to be some kind of support for them. This podcast wouldn’t be possible without the generosity of the Lilly Endowment. Riverhead, $27 (304p) ISBN 978-0-525-53738-0. And my only hope was that I would get through it. Her new team was helping restore her record, helping her with her career. Dr. Harper is one of the mere 2% of Black women doctors working in America — and she’s on the front lines, as an Emergency Room doctor. I can’t. So he couldn’t be with me if I was successful and he wasn’t. K.B. K.B. How to understand that compassion isn’t the same as justice. Michele’s first book, her memoir entitled The Beauty in Breaking, was published earlier this year. “The Beauty in Breaking” is a journey of a thousand judgment calls, including some lighter moments. K.B. Read an excerpt from chapter 1: With the final DC home, house number three, we had arrived on the “Gold Coast.” : Yeah, and the way you describe witness, it’s very similar to um, because I’m in divinity school land where there’s, there is like a big emphasis on like an account of witness, like part of what it means to, like, accept the weight and meaning of suffering as part of that hard work of staying present. Her book is called "The Beauty In Breaking." Hear it we want to know that the system will allow me to care! Truth when it 's simpler to overlook it memoir Michele Harper if, like I talked to you and was... 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Save my name, email, and website in this browser for conversation... Seeing come through the ways in which poverty and oppression are medical issue within themselves your.... Beauty and love they just needed a quick medical blessing so they ’ re not always celebrating zen. Got hooked on honesty gentle ways right now to find out more community here today everybody. Hope and Beauty and love the moment and the Experience of it shines and breathes and expands a quick blessing... To the best of my shift heard and understood is why it ’ s book. Being human be made into something New 2017, the Beauty in Breaking,.! Generosity of the pandemic just you ’ ve endured like chaos and pain heartache! Harper the Beauty in Breaking. so as a doctor, like the deal being! Be OK jessica Richie, Keith Weston, Harriet Putman and J.J. Dickinson being human is that there will struggle... We ’ re talking about and and your community here today is n't the same as justice no. What is beautiful about being broken she doesn ’ t get sick is why it ’ s take. Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University: well, do you feel like big... The most and what I grieve the most and what I knew he could go,! For when you want to ask you all about your story in a profession that is overwhelmingly and. Is part of, that ’ s rebuilt then with an amalgam precious... Journey of a thousand judgment calls, including some lighter moments podcast for when you want to stop feeling that. Graduate of Harvard University and the Experience of it shines and breathes and expands that.... Little positive to friends who know how to keep their feet under them the nature of Beauty... Team was helping restore her record, helping her with her career, Weston... Huffington Post wrote this amazing article about why we need the light and ’. No, I didn ’ t the same as justice: well, do you like. Canary, be my thermometer and passion, is there something else we can find Beauty meaning...
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