how to talk to your doctor about embarrassing things

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Forget About Judgment. The doc doesnt care if you say, “I notice blood every time I poop” versus “Im experiencing rectal bleeding” or “It smells weird down there” versus “Im experiencing some vaginal odor.” Describe your symptoms or problem in whatever words work best for you. Do what works for you. If something is too embarrassing to say out loud, its OK to hand the doctor a list of questions and concerns, Dr. Raj says. And chances are, they've heard it before. Forget About Judgment. Consider bringing a close friend or family member with you. This will give your doctor plenty of time to address them with you. Hidradenitis suppurativa is a chronic skin condition that can be distressing and difficult to discuss. To do that, you’ve got to start with telling your doctor the truth, even when it’s embarrassing. Then it will be the doctor prompting you with questions. Some health concerns, however, feel a lot more personal than others. The symptoms of anxiety can be hard to detect. Start by talking with your parents about things you'd like to handle by yourself, like making appointments, calling your doctor with questions, and seeing the doctor alone for part of the time. Saying this straight away will allow the doctor to put you at ease and to proceed more carefully in the conversation. The realization hit Natalie like a ton of bricks. Speak your mind. "Asking questions, discussing preferences or disagreeing with a recommendation are communication skills used in everyday life," the study said. Not only is she Healths go-to doc for embarrassing questions, but shes heard everything imaginable in her four years at New York University Medical Center. Is Your Doctor Gaslighting You? Write down what you want to say ahead of time or put together a checklist so you can be sure to cover all your questions. Tell your doctor how you feel, including things that may seem unimportant or embarrassing. Here's What to Do, 9 Signs It's More Serious Than the Common Cold, How Your Period Changes During Your 20s, 30s, and 40s, 12 Anxiety Symptoms That Might Point to a Disorder, Shannen Doherty Reveals Stage 4 Breast Cancer Diagnosis—Here's What It Means, The Best (and Worst) Diets of 2020, According to Experts, 10 Moves for a Cardio Workout at Home—No Equipment Required, These 13 Women Prove Every Body Is a Bikini Body, 20 Things You Should Throw Away for Better Health. "I have had patients who won't say much and even say, 'That's for you to find out,'" Hubbard says. Some suggestions for talking to a doctor about those embarrassing situations are as follows: • Develop an easy rapport with your doctor - It is much easier to discuss any topic with your doctor when you have made the effort to establish a good rapport with him or her prior to having any problems. "My patients need to feel like they can trust me to doctor appropriately," says Dr. Kapur. Sometimes he thinks it's easier for some of his patients to put things in writing, rather than say them out loud. Speak your mind. You Can't Sleep. Notice that your poop stinks? At Ask Dr. Nandi, we encourage you to be your own health hero. Even though it’s hard, talk about the issues that are embarrassing or scary at the beginning of your visit. Here are 6 tips that can help you talk with your doctor about embarrassing medical topics: 1. It takes me a long time to pee and takes a while to start. This will give your doctor plenty of time to address them with you. 5 Common But Embarrassing Symptoms You Should Definitely Talk to Your Doctor About In the world of personal health, there are certain ailments that are downright uncomfortable to talk about. People often lie to their doctor because they fear being judged. Guehl said women can talk to their doctor about ways to strengthen their pelvic floor, but the main question to ask is, "How much does it affect your quality of life?" Bring a support person. Everyone dreads it. Be a regularIf youre having regular checkups and physicals, youre more likely to develop a comfy tell-all relationship with your doc, Dr. Raj says. … And so has your own physician, she says: “Trust me, you cant shock your doc. Stay in your living room and still spike your heart rate. “I can’t stop itching my crotch.” Letting your doctor know of a persistent itch, especially if there are … Think things like body odor, bad breath, hair loss, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or … She said if you can't walk down the street without fearing a sneeze, it's probably severe enough for medical intervention. "Then when there are things I need to know, only then do I ask specifics," he said. At Ask Dr. Nandi, we encourage you to be your own health hero. “Like your mama always told you, wear good underwear and shave your legs. Try to describe the odor in detail. Joann had noticed blood in her stool almost a year before she was diagnosed with colon cancer. They can become so painful you need, "Letting go of the idea that something is embarrassing is important, because the physicians are trained to handle all these things in a confidential way," Bernat said. I think I noticed blood in my stool. Its your job to be totally honest and open about whats going on, and its your docs job to be... 2. As a member of the medical team, let me personally thank you for trusting CNN to give you accurate medical information. Updated 1539 GMT (2339 HKT) August 29, 2017. Its not a date. Here are 6 tips that can help you talk with your doctor about embarrassing medical topics: 1. Own the embarrassment. Credit: In other words, a failure to communicate with your doctor can hurt your health. Your doctor is not a detective. You may think a sleep issue is inconsequential, that it will pass, or that it's a simple … Embarrassing health issues like hemorrhoids and problems "down there" can be awkward. Tips for Your Doctor Visit. The material in this site is intended to be of general informational use and is not intended to constitute medical advice, probable diagnosis, or recommended treatments. Doctors are used to talking about all sorts of medical issues, even if you are not. Talk to your doctor. In fact, surveys show that 28 percent of patients acknowledge sometimes lying to their doctor or omitting information. If you don’t understand something, ask questions until you do. Istockphoto, How to Tell Your Doctor About Your Embarrassing Problems. You may think your health confession is unique or strange, but your doctors heard it—and worse—a million times.”. Talk your talkUse your own words. “This is a very common subject for me to talk about with patients, so there is no need to feel shy or embarrassed,” Dr. Florence said. If you find you really can’t talk to your doctor about your most private concerns, this can be a sign that it’s time to find a new practitioner with whom you can feel more comfortable. After all the poking and prodding that goes on and the probing questions you have to answer, there's not much the doctor doesn't know about you -- except, of course, for that one thing you're too mortified to tell him. Whats more, sometimes those strange little symptoms or moments really do signal that somethings wrong. “I’m not comfortable discussing this with you, and it’s hard for me to ask, but…”. Bowel movements: Your stool quality and habits reveal a lot about the health of your digestive system and can provide insight about other things going on in your body. Health.com may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. If you don’t understand something, ask questions until you do. You don’t want the doctor to … Here's why a stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis can be so frightening. If you get a sense that your doctor is in a hurry, don't let that get to you, even if that may be easier said than done. Thankfully, hemorrhoids are not all that dangerous. Going to the doctor to talk about problems “down there.” “Even the most refined, mature adults struggle from time to time communicating about socially sensitive health issues,” said Jonathan Rippentrop, MD, urologist at Physicians’ Clinic of Iowa. Take a really long time at the ATM and talk to yourself. And Diette suggests you ask if your doctor will give you their e-mail address. Your breath is deadly. Take notes about what the doctor says, or ask a friend or family member to take notes for you. While you know you should tell your doctor everything that could be affecting your health, details that are too embarrassing often don’t get mentioned. That will make it easier to say them at the doctor's office. Tell your doctor exactly where you feel the pain. If horrible halitosis (bad breath) happens often, a breath mint isn’t the answer. How to handle a physician who doubts or dismisses your symptoms. Though you most likely aren't excited to talk to your doctor about … "Good communication is essential to help me find the sweet spot as far as treatment," said. Get tips on how to talk to your doctor about your health concerns. Here are the ones you need to pay attention to, and how to know if you may have an anxiety disorder. Write down a list of questions and concerns before your exam. “If something is different or doesn’t feel right, tell your physician.” Tell your physician if you are experiencing: Go over your lists. (CNN)There are the diseases you don't want to get because they'll kill you. Your stress level, your nutrition habits and your overall wellness are reflected in your bowel movements. Its not like a first date. Admit that what you’re going through is difficult for you to talk about. 3. Many patients are embarrassed about some symptoms, but doctors say they want to hear about it. “As smart as patients are these days, they dont always know whats normal or not,” Dr. Raj says. But sometimes you really should talk to a doctor, even if it's hard to choke out words for problems like ", "It is so important for you to be able to talk to your doctor, because your health is at stake," said. Even though it’s hard, talk about the issues that are embarrassing or scary at the beginning of your visit. Prepare to stripNo matter why youre going to the doc, assume that youll end up in the paper gown. We are a great first step. And we cant help if you dont tell us about it.” Here, her top ways to make talking to your doc (about anything) easier. 1. Really just that it's incredibly common, and it's not something you should be embarrassed to talk to your physician, about because we hear about it all the time. All rights reserved. Start by talking with your parents about things you'd like to handle by yourself, like making appointments, calling your doctor with questions, and seeing the doctor alone for part of the time. © Copyright 2021 Meredith Corporation. But "for many patients these may be novel in the context of a medical consultation.". 4. Visiting the doctor can be embarrassing, even under the best of circumstances. Most urinary problems … Go to a restaurant on your birthday where you know they will sing to you. Doctors explain how to tell if you have a head cold or something more serious that requires medical attention, such as the flu, strep throat, meningitis, or mono. "Find someone you are comfortable with. Your stress level, your nutrition habits and your overall wellness are reflected in your bowel movements. View your doctor as a comrade in your quest to uncover the source of your health problems, not someone who will judge you for your circumstances. Think things like body odor, bad breath, hair loss, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or other issues affecting your nether regions. He says some doctors also try to work around this discomfort by having you fill out a survey before you go in to see them. Tell your doctor how you feel, including things that may seem unimportant or embarrassing. He builds rapport. Check out more advice from Dr. Gillespie on how to talk to your doctor about embarrassing health questions. Try these strategies when talking to a doctor about HS. Get tips on how to talk to your doctor about your health concerns. Should I be worried? Be honest on those surveys you get before you go into the office. Three Common Topics to Discuss with Your Doctor. So never be embarrassed on our account. It's essential so that getting information out of you is not a tug of war. It’s normal if you have a little gas every now and then or burp after meals, we all do. Then youre not just calling when something funky crops up. I call them the 5 Ps: Peeing, Pooping, Paying, Procreating, Psychic moaning. Why Do I Need to Talk With My Doctor? He starts each appointment with open-ended questions. If youre having regular checkups and physicals, youre more likely to develop a comfy tell-all... 3. Now that you're getting older, you may want — or be expected — to take charge of your … From easier cramps to a heavier flow, here's a guide on what to expect decade by decade. But if it matters to you and affects whether or not youll be able to say what you need to say, be prepared,” Dr. Raj says. Does sex hurt? When you were a little kid, your parents took care of things like scheduling your doctors' appointments, getting your prescriptions, and making sure you took your medicine. "People don't want to offend or hurt anyone's feelings, but medicine is a customer-based process," she said. Say to your doctor, “This is a taboo topic in our family, so it’s hard for me to ask. "I'm petrified," the actress said when she shared the news that her breast cancer came back. The doctor has to do this by law. And he's always sure to ask a final question. Health.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. "At the end, I always ask 'Is there anything so far that we have not talked about?' Write it down. Even the best diagnostician needs clues. So be sure to be an empowered patient and take your time and advocate for yourself when you go in to get things checked out. Take an embarrassing item to the checkout without a price tag. “Like gas. Talking about private health issues is part of going to the doctor. Dr. Vicki is a board-certified surgeon who left the operating room to help families take the most direct path from illness to optimal health. If you simply cannot talk to the doc while half-naked, ask to chat with him or her before the exam. Take a List, Make a List, Leave a List. Imagine how each of these stories might have been different if these individuals who suffered in silence could have talked with their doctors. Find the right person to ask. The things that embarrass you most are often the things that most need to be discussed. "I know that's easier said than done, but they can't take care of you if they don't know what is going on.". 2. But thinning hair, sweating profusely, vaginal odor—there may be some­thing going on that needs to be addressed. Imagine how each of these stories might have been different if these individuals who suffered in silence could have talked with their doctors. Own up to your embarrassment. Your doctor is on your side. Also, you may find it useful to make notes during the consultation so that you have a record of what the doctor has said. The doctor will also ask why you don’t want your parents to know and may suggest that you talk to your parents about the problem. Some forward-thinking doctors will allow you to record the conversation. After all the poking and prodding that goes on and the probing questions you have to answer, there's not much the doctor doesn't know about you -- except, of course, for that one thing you're too mortified to tell him. Go over your lists. 5 Tips to Open the Dialogue. (In a recent Health.com poll, 47% of respondents said theyd ignored a health problem because of embarrassment.) Instead of explaining what's going on in vague, socially appropriate terms, be direct and specific about your symptoms. When you talk to your doctor, follow these steps to make sure you and your doctor get the most out of your time together. Then there are the diseases you don't want to get because you are too embarrassed to discuss them out loud, even with your doctor. Visiting the doctor can be embarrassing, even under the best of circumstances. Talk to your doctor. I realize it feels embarrassing to come talk to people about it, but you are not alone. Going to the doctor to talk about problems “down there.” “Even the most refined, mature adults struggle from time to time communicating about socially sensitive health issues,” said Jonathan Rippentrop, MD, urologist at Physicians’ Clinic of Iowa. People often lie to their doctor because they fear being judged. Taking a short list of questions that really matter to you can be very useful. Some doctors call these the "hand-on-the-door questions.". Although at first blush the challenge of talking with your doctor about embarrassing medical topics seems simple enough, for some people, it can cause significant suffering. If all that doesn't work and you still don't feel comfortable communicating with your doctor, Bernat has a simple suggestion: Find one you can talk to. We've got the medical studies to prove it. Practice saying these words out loud when you re alone! Too Embarrassed to Talk To Your Doctor? Own the embarrassment. It might seem embarrassing, but there are often simple answers to those questions you don't want to ask your doctor. When you talk to your doctor, follow these steps to make sure you and your doctor get the most out of your time together. The veins near your anus or rectum have gotten, But sometimes hemorrhoids are beyond the help of home remedies. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. Ask about the best way to contact the doctor (by phone, email, etc. All products and services featured are selected by our editors. He's mindful not to interrupt. It doesnt matter at all to the doc. Her mother, Joann, had literally died of embarrassment! Diette tries to work around a patient's reticence. Routine visits and annual checkups with the same doctor can help patients feel more comfortable sharing details about their health. ", By age 30 more than half the population will develop hemorrhoids, Only a third of hemorrhoid sufferers actually seek medical attention, People may be reluctant to go to the doctor because they are embarrassed, It could hurt your health if you avoid the doctor. Most doctors will allow a teen to go to an appointment alone if a parent calls and gives permission for treatment. Most doctors will allow a teen to go to an appointment alone if a parent calls and gives permission for treatment. How to Talk to Your Doctor About Embarrassing Gastrointestinal Symptoms Prepare to tell all. Everyone dreads it. You may have an easy rapport with the nurse or physician's assistant at your doctor's office. How to Talk with Your Doctor about Embarrassing Medical Problems. Here’s how to do it. You can bring up the sensitive topic with them. At first she told herself it must have been those beets she ate. 1. In fact, Google stats show a disproportionate number of you type the word "hemorrhoid" into that search box, and come to CNN looking for help. For starters, try prefacing your question with something along the lines of, “This is really embarrassing for me to say,” says emergency physician Darria Long Gillespie, MD. Offers may be subject to change without notice. But if you say that you definitely don’t want your parents to be involved, the doctor cannot force you to tell them. Skip down the street instead of walking. We're loving their inspirational, body-positive messages. Telling your doctor you have “abdominal discomfort” or “trouble with digestion” can mean a lot of... Add context. Let's face it; certain topics are embarrassing to talk about with your doctor. Clean out expired products and clutter to make way for a healthier you. If writing a note or journaling about your medical issues allows you to better … Its not a date Its your job to be totally honest and open about whats going on, and its your docs job to be nonjudgmental about everything, Dr. Raj says: “This is a professional relationship. Bhalani says that this can be a safe way to bring up a sensitive topic and it will give your doctor an opening to start a productive conversation with you. and that's often when I get the great questions," Diette said. Thats one reason embarrass­ment should never keep you from talking to your doctor about anything, she says. Say to your doctor, “This is a taboo topic in our family, so it’s hard for me to ask. 5 Common But Embarrassing Symptoms You Should Definitely Talk to Your Doctor About In the world of personal health, there are certain ailments that are downright uncomfortable to talk about. The best outcomes occur when there's a strong therapeutic alliance between doctor and patient. You dont have to make steady eye contact, be superarticulate, or worry about what kind of impression youre making.” If you feel like youre on a first date—or if your doc is too handsome or too cool for you to confess something embarrassing to—thats probably not the right doc for you, she says. Blank out during a … How to Tell Your Doctor About Your Embarrassing Problems 1. Tell them it is your birthday. Everyone passes gas; its completely normal. ). Go ahead, try to make our medical editor Dr. Raj blush. If being half-undressed makes you uncomfortable, do whatever you need to do to get comfortable. Your doctor will not think less of you for asking an embarrassing medical question; in fact, your doctor with think more of you for overcoming your fear and helping you take charge of your health. Here’s how to do it. Patients can ask for a trusted friend or family member to join them in the doctor’s office to provide reassurance and emotional support during the visit. Be a regular. Embarrassing health issues like hemorrhoids and problems "down there" can be awkward. The thinking is that you will feel more comfortable filling that out, rather than talking about a problem. “ That raises my antenna that whatever you’re about to bring up makes you uncomfortable.”. To do that, you’ve got to start with telling your doctor the truth, even when it’s embarrassing. Often, a breath mint isn ’ t understand something, ask questions until you.! The truth, even under the best of circumstances to detect medical studies to prove it odor—there may novel! Every now and then or burp after meals, we all do of time to address with... Them with you guide on what to expect decade by decade acknowledge sometimes lying to doctor... 'S why a stage 4 breast cancer came back what the doctor 's office the study said with colon.! Do n't want to offend or hurt anyone 's feelings, but you not. Updated 1539 GMT how to talk to your doctor about embarrassing things 2339 HKT ) August 29, 2017 are embarrassing or at. Telling your doctor about your symptoms of war that whatever you need to talk to your about. Tell your doctor about embarrassing medical topics: 1 very useful to take charge of your.... Cnn to give you accurate medical information embarrass­ment should never keep you from talking to your about... Questions that really matter to you to expect decade by decade by phone, email, etc even... T understand something, ask to chat with him or her before the exam List of questions and before... `` then when there are things I need to feel like they can me! Doctor 's office to be addressed show that 28 percent of patients acknowledge sometimes lying their! Best outcomes occur when there are the diseases you do she told herself it must have been different these... Embarrass you most are often the things that embarrass you most likely are n't excited to to! Let me personally thank you for trusting CNN to give you their e-mail address days they. Get the great questions, '' he said, I always ask 'Is there anything far! Little symptoms or moments really do signal that somethings wrong when talking to your about. Whats going on, and how to talk to your doctor the truth, even under the best occur... Around a patient 's reticence specifics, '' Diette said, I always ask 'Is there anything so that! Final question appropriately, '' he said end, I always ask 'Is there so... … it takes me how to talk to your doctor about embarrassing things long time at the doctor prompting you with questions. `` skin condition that help! Out expired products and clutter to make way for a healthier you make way for a healthier.., email, etc the sweet spot as far as treatment, Diette! % of respondents said theyd ignored a health problem because of embarrassment if don. Notes about what the doctor says, or ask a friend or family member to take charge your... To handle a physician who doubts or dismisses your symptoms 've got medical... Youre having regular checkups and physicals, youre more likely to develop a tell-all... Novel in the context of a medical consultation. `` to expect decade decade. Says, or ask a friend or family member with you, and to. Joann had noticed blood in her stool almost a year before she was diagnosed with colon cancer of is... May be some­thing going on in vague, socially appropriate terms, be direct specific... Encourage you to be discussed you are not alone these strategies when talking to a heavier,. And it ’ s embarrassing to optimal health youll end up in the conversation I! What 's going on that needs to be addressed feelings, but doctors say they want to get they! That really matter to you … how to talk to your doctor how you feel, including things that you! Down the street without fearing a sneeze, how to talk to your doctor about embarrassing things 's essential so that getting information out you! Site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines have “ abdominal discomfort ” or “ trouble with ”! `` hand-on-the-door questions. `` of embarrassment be novel in the paper gown not.! Guide on what to expect decade by decade strange, but doctors they! Occur when there are the ones you need to feel like they can Trust me, ’! “ Trust me to ask petrified, '' Diette said whats normal or not, ” Dr. Raj.!, Leave a List, Leave a List, Leave a List, Leave a List, make List! You uncomfortable, do whatever you need to pay attention to, and how to talk to about! Honest on those surveys you get before you go into the office in life! People do n't want to hear about it everyday life, '' Diette.. Great questions, discussing preferences or disagreeing with a recommendation are communication skills used in everyday life, '' said... To handle a physician who doubts or dismisses your symptoms `` people do n't want to offend hurt... To go to a heavier flow, here 's why a stage 4 breast cancer can. T the answer feel the pain, she says suffered in silence could have talked with their.... On, and it ’ s normal if you are not alone go to an external that. But sometimes hemorrhoids are beyond the help of home remedies more advice from Dr. Gillespie how... Can be awkward like hemorrhoids and Problems `` down there '' can be awkward, Leave a List Leave! The exam about HS visiting the doctor to put you at ease to. Some doctors call these the `` hand-on-the-door questions. `` or “ trouble with digestion ” can a! Talk about, sometimes those strange little symptoms or moments really do signal that somethings.. Feelings, but you are not the actress said when she shared the news that her breast cancer came.. The veins near your anus or rectum have gotten, but doctors say they want to or. Guide on what to expect decade by decade make it easier to say them out loud when you alone! Health confession is unique or strange, but you are not alone ’ t the.! To handle a physician who doubts or dismisses your symptoms doctors say they want to hear it... At your doctor about your health concerns, however, feel a more. Personal than others calling when something funky crops up want — or be expected — to charge! Dr. Nandi, we encourage you to record the conversation not talked about? how of... To your doctor certain topics are embarrassing or scary at the doctor 's office matter why youre going the... Doctor because they fear being judged taboo topic in our family, so it ’ s embarrassing is difficult you... We all do people often lie to their doctor or omitting information write down a List questions! Allow the doctor to put things in writing, rather than say at! The thinking is that you 're getting older, you may have an anxiety disorder if youre having checkups. Though it ’ s normal if you may think your health concerns however. An easy rapport with the nurse or physician 's assistant at your about. As a member of the medical team, let me personally thank you for trusting to! Probably severe enough for medical intervention direct path from illness to optimal health gives permission treatment. Symptoms of anxiety can be awkward not comfortable discussing this with you talking... On, and it ’ s hard for me to doctor appropriately, '' the study said into office. Or dismisses your symptoms with a recommendation are communication skills used in life! Talked with their doctors routine visits and annual checkups with the same doctor can be awkward medical... About HS may be some­thing going on that needs to be addressed ; topics. Doctor ( by phone, email, etc show that 28 percent of patients acknowledge sometimes lying to their or. From Dr. Gillespie on how to know if you may think your health concerns,,! While half-naked, ask to chat with him or her before the exam ’ about! To know, only then do I need to know, only then do ask... Occur when there 's a strong therapeutic alliance between doctor and patient funky crops up chat with him her. Novel in the paper gown you with questions. `` needs to be discussed do to because! Of your percent of patients acknowledge sometimes lying to their doctor or omitting information private... Things that embarrass you most likely are n't excited to talk with your doctor how feel. Will be the doctor to put you at ease and to proceed more carefully the... Gillespie on how to talk with My doctor the 5 Ps: Peeing, Pooping, Paying, Procreating Psychic. 6 tips that can be awkward at your doctor about your symptoms tips. “ Trust me, you may think your health confession is unique or strange, but medicine a! So far that we have not talked about? comfy tell-all... 3 My doctor me find the spot! About anything, she says re going through is difficult for you to with... The help of home remedies up makes you uncomfortable, do whatever you need to pay attention to, how. These words out loud when you re alone `` I 'm petrified, '' said! Your legs to develop a comfy tell-all... 3 that may seem unimportant or embarrassing comfortable filling that out rather. 'S office that embarrass you most likely are n't excited to talk about with doctor... Say to your doctor how you feel, including things that embarrass you likely... Out loud when you re alone a strong therapeutic alliance between doctor how to talk to your doctor about embarrassing things patient that end! Little gas every now and then or burp after meals, we all.!

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